Hypochondria
by Michael Blumenthal
My heart hurts.
My chest hurts.
I’m short of breath.
It could be cancer.
My ejaculation was so tiny last night—
it must be my prostate.
No one in my family
has lived past the age of sixty-seven:
I turned sixty-eight yesterday.
I forget the name
of the film we saw last night—
it must be Alzheimer’s.
My vision is failing—diabetes.
Oh God, please help me.
At this rate, I’m going
to live forever.
Copyright © 2010 by Michael Blumenthal.
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